Cover Your Ass

Your website’s in danger.

In danger of what? Being hacked, stolen, or falling into the endless abyss of digital malfunction.

“But why, oh why, should I care?” you might ask.

Simple, because your website is your digital home, my friend, and you wouldn’t want someone to barge into your house, stealing your coffee maker, now would you? Of course not!

So, welcome to the “Cover Your Ass” package. The friendliest, coolest, and simplest website support and maintenance package. No tech-talk, no jargon, no fluff; just pure, undiluted website protection.

What’s In It For You?

You know how you always lock your door when you leave your house, right? Well, we’re like that neighbor with the binoculars who’s ALWAYS watching… but in a totally non-creepy way, I promise.

Let’s dive into what “Cover Your Ass” is all about:

1. Your Domain – Safe and Sound

Your domain is your digital street address. You wouldn’t want someone to change your house number and leave you out in the cold, would you? We’re here to make sure that your domain remains your domain. Forever and ever.

2. Hack-Proofing – Not Today, Hackers!

Picture a hacker, sitting in his dark room, ready to make his move. Then imagine us, smacking his virtual hand with a digital ruler, yelling, “NO!” We’ll make sure your website is as hack-proof as grandma’s secret cookie recipe.

3. A Familiar Face – Not a Robot 🤖

Need help? Don’t want to talk to some automated chatbot that knows zilch about human interaction? Good, neither do we. Whenever you need assistance, we’re here. Real people, real smiles, real help.

4. Website Maintenance – A Well-Oiled Machine

Let’s keep that website running smoother than a jazz saxophonist on a Saturday night. Regular updates, check-ups, the whole shebang.

Pricing – Let’s Keep It Real

We’re all about the value, baby! You’ve got three options:

1. Basic Package: It’s like having a guard dog, but without the barking. Your domain and site, safe and secure.
2. Pro Package: Imagine the Basic Package but with an espresso shot. More features, more protection, more jazz (cue jazz hands, or spirit fingers, if you’re feeling feisty).
3. VIP Package: The Rolls Royce of website protection. If you’re serious about your site, this one’s for you.

A Few Extra Sprinkles On Top

We’re not all about the serious stuff. Here’s the fun part:

• 24/7 Support: Day or night, we’re here. Even if it’s just to chat about your favorite pizza topping.
• Money-Back Guarantee: Not feeling it? Your money back. No questions, no fuss, no drama.

Ready to Join the Party?

Click that big shiny button below and welcome to the “Cover Your Ass” family. It’s like having a digital superhero, without the tight spandex (unless that IS what you want, then we can discuss options).

Still have doubts? Give us a call, send us an email, or let’s catch up over a virtual coffee. We’re as real as it gets, and we’re here to make sure your digital home stays yours.