Hey, you! Yes, you, the entrepreneur with the killer idea, grinding away in your garage, looking for the perfect way to showcase your business online. Are you sick of the buzzwords, technical jargon, and endless price tags that are part of building a website?
You’re damn right you are.
Allow me to introduce “Slap Shit Together.” It’s exactly what it sounds like – a no-frills, straight-up, punch-you-in-the-face way to get your business online. We’re cutting through the BS and giving you what you need. No more, no less.
You don’t want to read about synergistic paradigms, optimal convergence, or any of those other phrases you can’t even pronounce. Let’s keep it real:
Everything you need, nothing you don’t.
Let’s break it down in a way that makes sense, because, like you, I’ve got better things to do:
Design: We’re giving you a website that looks good and feels right. It doesn’t have to be the Sistine Chapel; it’s like a pickup truck – rugged, reliable, and damn sexy in a practical way.
SEO: What’s the point of having a site if no one can find it? We’ve baked in the SEO so your business pops up when it’s supposed to. No magic spells, just solid work.
Mobile Optimization: People use phones, ever heard of ’em? Your site’s gonna look good on ’em, too.
Social Media Integration: You like Instagram, Twitter, Facebook? Yeah, we’ve got those hooked up. Like a cold beer at the end of a hard day, it’s there waiting for you.
E-Commerce Ready: Selling stuff? Cool. We’ve thrown in a cash register for you.
We’re not about pretty words and airbrushed promises. We’re about getting shit done.
The typical agency will wine and dine you, talk about holistic strategies, mission statements, and throw a big bill in your face. Not us. We’ll slap shit together, and you’ll love it.
We’re not here to buy a yacht or vacation in the Maldives. We’re here to give you a freaking awesome website for a price that doesn’t make your wallet cry. And if you call us crazy, we’ll just nod and agree.
Your time’s precious. So’s ours. That’s why “Slap Shit Together” is fast. No unnecessary meetings, no long-winded explanations. You want a website, we make a website. You want to change the world, we’ll help you start.
Q: Is this real?
A: As real as your ambition.
Q: Can you do custom stuff?
A: You bet. But remember, we’re here to slap shit together, not paint the Mona Lisa.
Q: Are there any hidden fees?
A: Who do you think we are? Politicians?
If you’re tired of the bullshit and ready for a solution that speaks to you, not at you, it’s time for “Slap Shit Together.” It’s the bare-bones website package that checks all the boxes, no strings attached.
Let’s stop talking. Let’s start doing.
Click the button below to book a coffee meeting (or as we call them, “Joestorms”) or call (404) 654-0408 to get your business online today. “Slap Shit Together” – because the Internet ain’t gonna conquer itself.
Disclaimer: We use strong language, but we have even stronger solutions. You’re still in the right place if you’re easily offended by words but love results. If not, our competitors have plenty of corporate jargon to comfort you. Enjoy!
If you’re up for some real talk about boosting your online game, we’re all ears – and caffeine addicts. Let’s catch up over a cup of joe and brainstorm how to rock your presence online. Click that button and let’s get the coffee brewing.
The guys that deliver digital solutions that work for you…